Conflict At Work? The Power Of A Third-Party In Family Business Conflict
Discord is normal within families. Add to it the pressures of owning and running a business and conflict often rises to severe proportions. Not wanting to jeopardize the family or the business, significant problems are ignored with the hope that they will resolve themselves. The resulting bitterness leads to enduring arguments and painful family encounters. The prevailing desire is to escape and keep things as quiet as possible. This is no time to have a party!
In fact, it is time to have a party…a third party. Most family enterprise owners do not know that there is a systematic approach that will relieve tension immediately and begin the process of long-term accord and civility. A third-party intervention with a dyadic approach invites a trained professional to help those in conflict address long-term resentment and face disputes as they occur. The good news is that if you are still arguing, you are still engaged in communication and that opens the door for resolution. It takes two people to create conflict; it takes a third party to stop it.
It is important to note that stopping does not mean ending conflict altogether. You cannot eliminate disagreement. You can, however, manage it, handle it, replace it and learn the techniques to diffuse it. Unfortunately, conflict management skills do not come as naturally as one might think. We were never actually taught them. If we want peaceful relationships at home and in the workplace, we have to learn what they are and how to use them.
A dyad facilitator can change the entire dynamic of a dispute and show you practical skills to stop painful arguments. The third-party offers a neutral perspective and can actually suppress the escalation of conflict. In front of a third party, we tend to control our hurtful words, curb our attacks and, with guidance, stay focused on the real issue at hand. The goal shifts from confrontation to cooperation. It is no longer about your way versus the other way, but the best way for both parties to have an agreeable relationship. In this safe environment, you will be encouraged to speak out, speak up and speak often. You will have the opportunity to state your full position without interruption and diversion. The objective third-party has the ability to see both perspectives and respect each person’s needs. The third-party does have a personal interest too…peace. This does not necessarily ensure resolution, but it does offer a more promising outcome than continuing nonproductive battles. This is the third-party solution.
How does it work? The dyad consists of two people in controversy and a dyad facilitator. The facilitator asks each party to come to the table with one or two critical issues regarding the other party. Each issue is addressed separately and for as much time as is necessary to reach mutual understanding of each aspect of the issue. Often the issues are as simple as longstanding misunderstandings due to inadequate communication. Other issues are more complicated and will require compromise, or trading.
The dyad process skips over the angry interchange that may have blocked negotiation in the past – and goes directly to negotiation. The mediator manages the disruptive interference of open expression of emotions and keeps the process focused on the key issues while chipping away at the underlying layers of anger, frustration and resentment.
It may sound painful, but the process is powerful, positive and enriching. It can be the first time you are listened to without interruption. You find that you are shocked that you can discuss the issue and not be distracted by the associated emotions. And, most often, it is the first time you are heard and understood. You will start to notice that you “save” your arguments for the dyad sessions instead of erupting at each exasperating situation. It is this “planned conflict” that gives you a safe time to address business and personal issues with the objectivity of a third-party, and thus, allowing you the opportunity to enjoy being a family.
It is no secret that contention in the family enterprise often results in the end of the business, the demise of the family or both. So, yes, it is time to have a party. Invite a skilled, trained third-party into your business and family and feel the effect of immediate relief.
In fact, it is time to have a party…a third party. Most family enterprise owners do not know that there is a systematic approach that will relieve tension immediately and begin the process of long-term accord and civility. A third-party intervention with a dyadic approach invites a trained professional to help those in conflict address long-term resentment and face disputes as they occur. The good news is that if you are still arguing, you are still engaged in communication and that opens the door for resolution. It takes two people to create conflict; it takes a third party to stop it.
It is important to note that stopping does not mean ending conflict altogether. You cannot eliminate disagreement. You can, however, manage it, handle it, replace it and learn the techniques to diffuse it. Unfortunately, conflict management skills do not come as naturally as one might think. We were never actually taught them. If we want peaceful relationships at home and in the workplace, we have to learn what they are and how to use them.
A dyad facilitator can change the entire dynamic of a dispute and show you practical skills to stop painful arguments. The third-party offers a neutral perspective and can actually suppress the escalation of conflict. In front of a third party, we tend to control our hurtful words, curb our attacks and, with guidance, stay focused on the real issue at hand. The goal shifts from confrontation to cooperation. It is no longer about your way versus the other way, but the best way for both parties to have an agreeable relationship. In this safe environment, you will be encouraged to speak out, speak up and speak often. You will have the opportunity to state your full position without interruption and diversion. The objective third-party has the ability to see both perspectives and respect each person’s needs. The third-party does have a personal interest too…peace. This does not necessarily ensure resolution, but it does offer a more promising outcome than continuing nonproductive battles. This is the third-party solution.
How does it work? The dyad consists of two people in controversy and a dyad facilitator. The facilitator asks each party to come to the table with one or two critical issues regarding the other party. Each issue is addressed separately and for as much time as is necessary to reach mutual understanding of each aspect of the issue. Often the issues are as simple as longstanding misunderstandings due to inadequate communication. Other issues are more complicated and will require compromise, or trading.
The dyad process skips over the angry interchange that may have blocked negotiation in the past – and goes directly to negotiation. The mediator manages the disruptive interference of open expression of emotions and keeps the process focused on the key issues while chipping away at the underlying layers of anger, frustration and resentment.
It may sound painful, but the process is powerful, positive and enriching. It can be the first time you are listened to without interruption. You find that you are shocked that you can discuss the issue and not be distracted by the associated emotions. And, most often, it is the first time you are heard and understood. You will start to notice that you “save” your arguments for the dyad sessions instead of erupting at each exasperating situation. It is this “planned conflict” that gives you a safe time to address business and personal issues with the objectivity of a third-party, and thus, allowing you the opportunity to enjoy being a family.
It is no secret that contention in the family enterprise often results in the end of the business, the demise of the family or both. So, yes, it is time to have a party. Invite a skilled, trained third-party into your business and family and feel the effect of immediate relief.
Discord is normal within families. Add to it the pressures of owning and running a business and conflict often rises to severe proportions. Not wanting to jeopardize the family or the business, significant problems are ignored with the hope that they will resolve themselves. The resulting bitterness leads to enduring arguments and painful family encounters. The prevailing desire is to escape and keep things as quiet as possible. This is no time to have a party!
In fact, it is time to have a party…a third party. Most family enterprise owners do not know that there is a systematic approach that will relieve tension immediately and begin the process of long-term accord and civility. A third-party intervention with a dyadic approach invites a trained professional to help those in conflict address long-term resentment and face disputes as they occur. The good news is that if you are still arguing, you are still engaged in communication and that opens the door for resolution. It takes two people to create conflict; it takes a third party to stop it.
It is important to note that stopping does not mean ending conflict altogether. You cannot eliminate disagreement. You can, however, manage it, handle it, replace it and learn the techniques to diffuse it. Unfortunately, conflict management skills do not come as naturally as one might think. We were never actually taught them. If we want peaceful relationships at home and in the workplace, we have to learn what they are and how to use them.
A dyad facilitator can change the entire dynamic of a dispute and show you practical skills to stop painful arguments. The third-party offers a neutral perspective and can actually suppress the escalation of conflict. In front of a third party, we tend to control our hurtful words, curb our attacks and, with guidance, stay focused on the real issue at hand. The goal shifts from confrontation to cooperation. It is no longer about your way versus the other way, but the best way for both parties to have an agreeable relationship. In this safe environment, you will be encouraged to speak out, speak up and speak often. You will have the opportunity to state your full position without interruption and diversion. The objective third-party has the ability to see both perspectives and respect each person’s needs. The third-party does have a personal interest too…peace. This does not necessarily ensure resolution, but it does offer a more promising outcome than continuing nonproductive battles. This is the third-party solution.
How does it work? The dyad consists of two people in controversy and a dyad facilitator. The facilitator asks each party to come to the table with one or two critical issues regarding the other party. Each issue is addressed separately and for as much time as is necessary to reach mutual understanding of each aspect of the issue. Often the issues are as simple as longstanding misunderstandings due to inadequate communication. Other issues are more complicated and will require compromise, or trading.
The dyad process skips over the angry interchange that may have blocked negotiation in the past – and goes directly to negotiation. The mediator manages the disruptive interference of open expression of emotions and keeps the process focused on the key issues while chipping away at the underlying layers of anger, frustration and resentment.
It may sound painful, but the process is powerful, positive and enriching. It can be the first time you are listened to without interruption. You find that you are shocked that you can discuss the issue and not be distracted by the associated emotions. And, most often, it is the first time you are heard and understood. You will start to notice that you “save” your arguments for the dyad sessions instead of erupting at each exasperating situation. It is this “planned conflict” that gives you a safe time to address business and personal issues with the objectivity of a third-party, and thus, allowing you the opportunity to enjoy being a family.
It is no secret that contention in the family enterprise often results in the end of the business, the demise of the family or both. So, yes, it is time to have a party. Invite a skilled, trained third-party into your business and family and feel the effect of immediate relief.
In fact, it is time to have a party…a third party. Most family enterprise owners do not know that there is a systematic approach that will relieve tension immediately and begin the process of long-term accord and civility. A third-party intervention with a dyadic approach invites a trained professional to help those in conflict address long-term resentment and face disputes as they occur. The good news is that if you are still arguing, you are still engaged in communication and that opens the door for resolution. It takes two people to create conflict; it takes a third party to stop it.
It is important to note that stopping does not mean ending conflict altogether. You cannot eliminate disagreement. You can, however, manage it, handle it, replace it and learn the techniques to diffuse it. Unfortunately, conflict management skills do not come as naturally as one might think. We were never actually taught them. If we want peaceful relationships at home and in the workplace, we have to learn what they are and how to use them.
A dyad facilitator can change the entire dynamic of a dispute and show you practical skills to stop painful arguments. The third-party offers a neutral perspective and can actually suppress the escalation of conflict. In front of a third party, we tend to control our hurtful words, curb our attacks and, with guidance, stay focused on the real issue at hand. The goal shifts from confrontation to cooperation. It is no longer about your way versus the other way, but the best way for both parties to have an agreeable relationship. In this safe environment, you will be encouraged to speak out, speak up and speak often. You will have the opportunity to state your full position without interruption and diversion. The objective third-party has the ability to see both perspectives and respect each person’s needs. The third-party does have a personal interest too…peace. This does not necessarily ensure resolution, but it does offer a more promising outcome than continuing nonproductive battles. This is the third-party solution.
How does it work? The dyad consists of two people in controversy and a dyad facilitator. The facilitator asks each party to come to the table with one or two critical issues regarding the other party. Each issue is addressed separately and for as much time as is necessary to reach mutual understanding of each aspect of the issue. Often the issues are as simple as longstanding misunderstandings due to inadequate communication. Other issues are more complicated and will require compromise, or trading.
The dyad process skips over the angry interchange that may have blocked negotiation in the past – and goes directly to negotiation. The mediator manages the disruptive interference of open expression of emotions and keeps the process focused on the key issues while chipping away at the underlying layers of anger, frustration and resentment.
It may sound painful, but the process is powerful, positive and enriching. It can be the first time you are listened to without interruption. You find that you are shocked that you can discuss the issue and not be distracted by the associated emotions. And, most often, it is the first time you are heard and understood. You will start to notice that you “save” your arguments for the dyad sessions instead of erupting at each exasperating situation. It is this “planned conflict” that gives you a safe time to address business and personal issues with the objectivity of a third-party, and thus, allowing you the opportunity to enjoy being a family.
It is no secret that contention in the family enterprise often results in the end of the business, the demise of the family or both. So, yes, it is time to have a party. Invite a skilled, trained third-party into your business and family and feel the effect of immediate relief.
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5:56 AM
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